THE MUMMER'S SONG

Spoken:

Don't seem like Christmas if the Mummers aren't here,
Granny would say as she'd sit in her chair;
Things have gone modern, I s'pose that's the cause,
Christmas is not like it was.

Knock, knock, knock: Any Mummers 'lowed in?

Hark, what's the noise out by the porch door?
Granny, 'tis mummers, there's twenty or more.
Her old weathered face lightens up with a grin,
Any Mummers, nice Mummers 'lowed in?

Come in, lovely Mummers, don't bother the snow,
We can wipe up the water sure after you go;
Sit if you can or on some Mummer's knee,
Lets see if we know who ya be.

There's big ones 'n' tall ones 'n' small ones 'n' thin,
Boys dressed as women and girls dressed as men;
Humps on their backs an' mitts on their feet,
My blessed, we'll die with the heat.

There's only one there I think that I know,
That tall feller standing o'er long side the stove;
He's shakin' his fist for to make me not tell,
Must be Billy from out on the hill.

Now that one's a stranger if there ever was one,
With his underwear stuffed and his trap door undone;
Is he wearin' his mother's big forty-two bra?
I knows but I'm not gonna say.

Don't s'pose you fine Mummers will turn down a drop,
No home brew, nor alky, whatever you got;
Now the one with his rubber boots on the wrong feet,
He's had enough for to do him a week.

S'pose you can dance? Yes, they all nods their heads,
They've been tappin' their feet ever since they came in;
Now that the drinks have been all passed around,
The Mummers are plankin' her down.

Hold on to the lamp and be careful the stove,
Don't swing Granny hard for you know that she's old;
No need for to care how you buckles the floor,
'Cause Mummers have danced here before.

My God, how hot is it, we better go,
I 'low we'll all get the devil's own cold;
Good night and good Christmas, Mummers, me dears,
Please God, we will see you next year.

© Bud Davidge